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Ya know? On any other day....that might seem strange.


Okay boys and girls, it's story time. Everyone come sit on the carpet.... bring your blankies.... and be very quiet or I'll introduce you to my little friend......Shoosh! :-) Now then does everyone have their juice and cookies? Well, go put them on a shelf somewhere before you ruin *another* keyboard! Jeesh, how many times do I have to remind you children? :-)

SO THIS IS TUX....
As has been previously mentioned, we didn't make gate. It was the wenches fault. Really. Hey, it's my story. Go write your own if you don't like it. *g* Anyway, we arrive at Tux and proceed directly to Fellowship Foundry. Of course, since it's before noon, Bethany's not quite stirring about yet. So I visit with Adam and Wolfen for awhile and then the Goddess of Pewter herself makes her grand entrance. Yay! Much rejoicing, hugs, kisses, kiltchecks and "where's the clean privy?" commence. During all this, we meet up with (the Visitors to Tux) Normtuba, LynneD & Randy, and Mistress Catherine & Bill (The Gang of AFR).

From there we proceed to find the man, the myth, the legend...that's right, you know him, you love him, you wonder how he does that whole neck-nibble thing so well.... Lars, the Cookie-Puss of Wrong. But alas, it seems Lars fell into a giant vat of industrial strength, crunchy tea and has been awake for approximately two and a half centuries. He's upstairs polishing and buffing....pewter, you preverts! So we lounge around the front of Lundegaard armoury, smell the roses <sniiiiiiffffff!!!> and chat with Bug for awhile, which is a show in and of it's self.

OFF TO SEE IDIOTS
Somehow I only managed to see one show on Saturday....The Flaming Idiots. It was a pretty good show, IMO. I'd give it a 7....it's got a nice beat, but you can't dance to it. Then it was off to shop and meander. Personally, I love to meander. Sometimes I'll just meander around my living room, sometimes around the neighborhood, but nothing beats a good old Faire meander. We ran into several other otters as the day progressed and frequently stopped by the Armoury and the Foundry. Finally it came time to call it a day and return to Casa de Salim. As we're making buh-byes in front of the Foundry, Elf, Duckie, Alison and Rick show up. A quick hug-hug, kiss-kiss and we're off for the day.

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!
Once again we fail to make gate and of course it's all the wenches......oh alright! It was *my* fault, both days. *mumble-mumble-i'malatekilter,sosueme-mumble-mumble* Anyway, once again we invade Tux and give our morning greetings to everyone. Got Milk? *eg* Then it's time for my mandatory daily show and this time we go see "Instant Shakespeare". Very funny, very clever improvisational show. ("Get a room, funboys!") Of special note for the day: CONGRATULATIONS TO RANDY AND LYNNED!! They won the costume contest! Huzzah!! Bill, Cathy, Bethany, Vicky and I cheered our little otter hearts out for them and then we all stood around with judges (Nobles) and traded costuming tips. At some point in the afternoon there was the First Official Wench Walk of the season! I LOVE Faire!! But this is the closest I've gotten to being wenched so far. Thanks Dranaan (w/ Zippy)! *g* On a personal note, A big kilted hug for Cathy and Bill for finding me Seaweed (the BeanieBaby Otter) who spent the day riding around on my sword hilt. And I'd like to thank Alison (*smooch*) for gifting me with the *cutest* otter puppet....yes, a puppet. You see you stick your hand up it's....well, nevermind that. :-)

I WON, I WON, I WON....NEENER-NEENER-NEENER
Speaking of sticking your hands up things....I feel I must set the record straight on something. Kiltchecks. Now then the way I feel it should be done, and the way that the Queen of Kiltchecks does it, is she squats down and reaches up the kilt in the back or side checking for underwear. Fairly safe, fairly painless. Nobody is really embarassed, no one loses their sight and planes aren't pulled off course. But, some people (okay, just one...) can't seem to follow this time honored tradition that must surely date back centuries. Oh no, they (okay, *she*....) seems to think that a kiltcheck involves *flinging* the FRONT of the kilt up in the middle of the freakin' Faire! Which in and of itself is bad enough if your last name's not Holmes, but she (okay, Alison-Leather Goddess-Snipe-BattleBitch-CSGD) also had to have the papparazzi and a Wench Squad along to help. Hmmphff.

Now then, as you may have heard, Alison did indeed try and yes, she is fairly quick (low to the ground- less wind resistance, no doubt) but.....she did NOT succeed! Ha! Double ha! Okay, she *may* have flipped it a little a couple of times.....ONLY after chasing me up and down the hill for an hour and calling in her minions to help. Oh! and the papparazzi I mentioned earlier? Ray and John. My own clansmen...my brothers...fellow Rogue's Guild members...turned on me! Traitors. In the heart, all of you. *s*

GO WEST, YOUNG ELF
(Ed note: It was this weekend that Da Bronxelf left for CA.)

And *that*, children, is the end of my tale. Now lay down, rest your heads and if a darkhaired elf dressed in green happens to be walking her weezows through the valley of your dreams.... blow her a kiss for me and fling happy thoughts in her general direction.

Buh.