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The Otters Invade Maryland

THEY JUST FLEW IN AND BOY, ARE THEIR ARMS TIRED!
I start off my weekend by going over to Michele and Carolyn's house to meet Kalani and ErictQ. I'm promptly greeted at the door by Eric. How do I know it's Eric? Because, class, he is orange. He is VERY orange. From his hair to his painted combat boots. And Kalani? Top hat, tails, LOUD Hawaiian shirt, shorts and fishnet (they simply *made* the whole outfit) stockings. After the general greetings we settle down to chat, view Eric's jewels (he makes jewelry, you perverts!), and drink several bottles of wine. Liz ( The RenFaire Junkie), Michele and Rick (RenRedNeck) eventually all arrive and there is the obligatory exchange of " tricks". We all then have a scrum-diddlely-umtious dinner prepared by Carolyn herself.

TWRUE WUUUV IS WHAT BWINGS US TO-GETHA TO-DAY
From there I hotfoot it over to Ray and Sharon's house for the night. John and Lisa (who both ROCK!, in case I didn't mention it before) are already there. I walk in to find Sharon and Lisa argueing over the proper ingredients and technique for making a grilled cheese sandwich. With much cursing and name calling, I might add. *sigh* June Cleaver and Donna Reed they ain't. Once the initial battle is over, Lisa instructs me to sit on the couch and close my eyes. I know what you're thinking,... but I did it anyway. When I am allowed to open my eyes I see a sheep. An inflatable sheep. An inflatable sheep wearing crotchless red panties. These people are REALLY twisted. Is it any wonder I love them so? By the way, I named her Mary.....you know, Queen of Scots. Hey, I never said I wasn't just as twisted.

LET'S INVADE SOMETHING!
So we do. Right in the gate, we are greeted by Columbina who introduces us to Wulfie and Morghana. We chat with them for a few minutes and then Lisa starts to whimper about needing coffee. As we are making our way, we come across Kalani, Eric, Rick and Vicky! Yay! Morning mead.... ahhhhh. Hugs, kisses, photos and then the whimper turns into a whine, "I waaant coffffee!" We finally get the coffee and then proceed to visit Xandriel to have coffee added to the coffee. I promptly run out of film and have to go back to the car to get more. By the time I return everyone has already been to the Dragon Inn and they are migrating towards the Globe Theater....or in this case the Globe Teatre. With Keltik leading the way carrying the AFR otter banner, Vicky yelling " Otters...HO!!" and Lisa yelling "Who you callin' a HO?!?!" we descend en masse upon Michele's show. Poor girl...she should have known better. We also managed to find Sinnius Vice and had him bless Sharon's bodice. Not that she really needed it, but....well, it made for a good picture. *g*

FOOD???
Rogues, Wenches and food...whadda party! The best estimate is that there were around 80 people there at any one time. People lined up to take the RenGeek test, there were ear tricks, neck tricks, hatricks and probably some other tricks of which I don't know the names. There was also a quartet serenade for PyratePeg. But I *finally* got my Official NeckTrick (tm) performed by the SuperMacDaddyScreamingOrangePoof hisself. The only comment I'll make about it is that it was worth the wait. *eg*

OH, A ROGUEING WE WILL GO, A ROGUEING WE WILL GO...
Now obviously we couldn't let an opportunity like an invasion go by without a Rogueing. hehehehehe....so we plotted, planned and schemed. And recruited some super-secret spies to help with holding down our vict...um, recipients. Our first target was one of my very favorite wenches...Lisa. Yup, that's right. We finally got her....and she even blushed. Muhahahahaha!! The next target was our very own Goddess O' Mead, Vicky. Then we strolled back up to the Dragon Inn and found our third target of the day.... the Queen herself, Morghana. *G* I love being a Rogue.

SPORTS
The day continued on and all too soon it was time for the Final Pub Sing. Everyone gathered about the White Hart Tavern where once again everyones favorite RenFaire sport (okay, so maybe that's just me) did commence. That's right, Full Contact Kiltchecking! Ahhhhh, the things I do to entertain you people. And of course....I won. hehehehe.

Memorable Quote: "You're throat isn't deep enough!"

Okay. Maybe I should explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up. One of the favorite pasttimes for the weekend was Vicky and her MeadMazer100 (one of those little pump squirt guns filled with mead). Vicky had quite the time pumping it up and squirting it into peoples mouths. Now sometimes she pumped a little too much and the mead would shoot back out and all over the front of the recipient. Needless to say, all the Rogues invented a brand new game right on the spot. So to speak. Anyway, while we're standing in the dusk, listening to the music, Vicky gives Lisa a dose of mead which promptly spills across the front of her dress to Lisa's cries of protest. To which Vicky made the above quote and to which everyone in earshot responded to with gales of uncontrollable laughter.

I FREAKED OUT THE POOF!
The plan for dinner was to take over a Chinese restaurant and fill it to the brim with otters. I arrived late. It wasn't my fault, I had to go get Mary and you know how women are. *g* When we do finally get there it's to a standing ovation. I think that was mostly for Mary's sake....she is rather bonny. I show her off a little and then Kalani wants a picture of the happy couple. And then Eric wants one. And then I show him Mary's lovely red panties. THEN I show him why they had to be crotchless. That's when he lost it. Hehehehehehe, I'm such a baa-aad boy.

SUNDAY....THE DAY OF REST?
Once again, we try to make gate...and fail. Well, Ray, Sharon and I did. Their dog got loose and while Ray was chasing him I pleated his kilt and waited for him to come back. Once we get there, we head for the Dragon Inn. We have to stand outside for a few minutes as the Inn is closed for a private party that is just breaking up. While the three of us are standing on the hillside talking, we spot John, Lisa, Vicky, Rick and Todd come strolling towards us. One look and I start to panic. I give a brief thought to taking flight, but it's too early in the morning so I stand my ground. Now, I can hear all of you out there in cyberland saying, "WHAT the hell is going on? WHAT could possibly cause such abject terror, such unbridled fear, such mindnumbing dread in our brave, stout clanleader?!?" One word. Lisa. Or rather the smile on her face, the look in her eyes and the three foot piece of blue ribbon she was fondling. *twitch*

SHE *RIBBONED* ME!!
Ahhhhh...revenge, sweet revenge. Well, she got it. Finally. After almost a whole season of losing at kiltchecking, Lisa called in all her minions and they surrounded me. Rick even went so far as to stand behind me with his staff across my chest to prevent even the thought of escape. Vicky spread her cloak out on the ground and had Lisa lay down on her back underneath my kilt. Unfortunately for Lisa, she had taken some cold medicine and just happened to be laying head-down on a slope. She didn't last long. *lol* Now, I couldn't see it myself, but John swears the view was worth it.....think about it. So Vicky bravely volunteered to take over. Yeah, I was suspicious too...but she accomplished her task...eventually. *eg* Raymond also received his blue ribbon from Lisa, who learning from experience decided to squat instead of laying down. *lol*

THE REST OF THE DAY
Well, as far as I was concerned that was the hightlight of the day....hell, the whole season! Although of notable mention was a grape, strawberry or something trick (I don't think anyone actually *cared* what kind of fruit they used) that Bethany showed to Sharon. Eric preformed his own version of a kiltcheck....with that devilishly naughty glove that he purchased on Saturday. Kathy finally learned what a " wubby" is.....well, *someone* had to show her! I got to finally gig.....and with Eric no less! Wheeeeeee! We stalked the privies, we groveled for the nobility, Eric did a little dance and I watched him give countless Neck Tricks. It was a grand fine day. Then once again, Final Pub Sing and time to leave. We all gathered outside the frontgate, and even though it technically wasn't the end of the season, it was still a very emotional time. And so, as we all knew it would eventually, the day ended. After almost an hour of hugs, kisses and promises to keep in touch, we all made our way to our vehicles and headed for our respective homes...our heads full of memories, our bodies full of ache and our hearts full of hope.